Ever since I was a young girl, I always felt I was different, and it wasn’t until my early 30’s I figured out why.  I remember being in grade school and always wanting to sit in the back of the class because I did not want to be a spectacle. I certainly did not want the teacher to call upon me for questions or read out loud. This wasn’t just grade school – it lasted through all my school years.  I have always kept a low profile and observe more than I speak (but don’t be fooled…. it’s always the quiet ones you want to look out for!)  I am not shy and making friends comes easy.  However, while it is not difficult to make friends, I do keep my circle small.  Quality over quantity.  So, what was this thing that has followed me my entire life?  Why did I feel so uncomfortable around large groups of people?  Not only is it uncomfortable but it is absolutely exhausting.

Whenever I had an extremely busy weekend or went on vacation, I would always need to take an extra day off work to do nothing.  Just one more day to be alone and recharge myself.  My extrovert friends still cannot grasp this concept.  And, on the flip side, I cannot grasp how they DON’T require a day to themselves!

As I mentioned, I did not figure things out until my early 30’s and I will tell you how it all fell in place.  I had just gotten a new position at work.  The team was great, but I soon realized that majority of the folks reminded me of my school days.  Most of them did not want to sit in back of the class and they were not quiet. They enjoyed going to dinner as a group, after we havebeen together for the past nine hours (we often traveled for business).  I honestly just could not fathom this idea.  It absolutely was nothing personal.  For the most part, I enjoyed almost everyone’s company.  But the thought of spending another two hours (at least) after we have been together ALL day?  Who does that?   I was completely baffled.  I simply wanted to unwind (alone), go to the gym, and then go back to my room and prepare for the next day.  Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought my routine would be an issue.  It eventually was brought to my attention that I appeared uninterested and disengaged.  LOL – what?? I was shocked.  Not only were their accusations completely false, but they were just plain rude and uncalled for.  After that incident, I felt I had to justify myself…. even to this day, I feel it was wrong that I felt the need to do that.  What someone does or does not do on their own personal time is their business.  I was doing my job.  I contributed to team discussions during work hours.  I was polite to people, and I certainly was not disengaged.  What more did they want from me?

Then, it all became clear:  I was an introvert surrounded by extroverts.  I remember explaining this to the entire team and that it simply is not something I can change (plus, why would I?) Some were receptive and others I feel it fell on deaf ears.  And that is ok.  Those that understood and respected where I was coming from are wonderful people and I still keep in contact with some of them.  The rest, well screw ‘em.  Therewas only one person in particular that made zero effort to understand where I was coming from.  Personally, I say it is pure ignorance and I soon realized I did not have time, nor the patience for their nonsense.

For most of us, our surroundings are just busy…. perhaps, overwhelming.  For those of you who can relate and are introverted, what do you do to calm yourself?  Do you find that rush hour traffic is unbearable and look for other routes?  Can you take a large (more than two) group of people for just a short amount of time until you feel your battery has died?  Have you ever been accused of being rude or uninterested?  I often wonder, why are these questions acceptable from extroverts toward introverts.  I mean, what if I asked an extrovert “hey, why are you so loud?” or “haven’t you spent enough time with everyone, don’t you want time to yourself?”  I honestly feel that these questions would not be acceptable.  Isn’t that a double standard?

I have read numerous articles regarding introverts and extroverts.  Not only for my own personal research, but I find it quite interesting.  With that said, these personality traits are not obscure so why is there a stigma toward introversion?  That is a rhetorical question.  I will tell you why:  people are too quick to make their own assumptions before taking the time to learn thereality.  Let’s be honest, we have all done this, including myself.  But it’s time to take a step back and think before one speaks.  Didn’t we all learn in kindergarten, that if you do not have something nice to say, then you don’t say anything at all?  Pretty simple rule that.  I would encourage more of us to follow it.